A story of two lovers,
Who sought to find each other,
Through sorrow and pain, fear and misery,
The story continues for us incessantly.

Brought so much meaning into my life,
So easily enticed,
Your personality and innocence persuaded my mind,
While your love made worthwhile of my time.

Though you were a part of me, I wasn't a part of you yet.
I brought it upon myself that eventually my turn would come,
A time when I would be loved,
So I tried my best; and with hope, put my time and effort just for you to notice me.

Little did I know that you would--but you did.
My time had come and what a time of pride it was,
To be loved by the one that I loved,
I could only wish for nothing else.

I felt you reside deep inside me,
A part of myself that I didn't even discover,
Your words made it so clear,
My life seemed rid of all the clutter.

Sadly I am awoken of this dream,
A deal that I had agreed to,
To give you my heart for your love,
You inscribed your name on it, but pressed too hard,
Now this tender flesh has cuts around your name.

All the time and effort seems wasted now,
I'd give you anything...if I had something left,
You threw away all I had given you,
And it struck my heart,
Thousands of needles penetrating slowly; only to cause more pain.

Walking through an alley of tangled words those nights,
I held your hand and felt your deceptive grip,
Gazing gracefully into your eyes to see mine reflect,
Somewhere between the blue and white I expected to see myself,
But I couldn't find my eyes, perhaps you weren't looking into mine.

What a long night this has turned into,
I can feel the brittleness of my bones, shattering within,
Slowly I ponder what exactly went wrong,
Although I try hard, your words seem to clog my thoughts,
Now I know that tears from a heart that's shallow, holds no value.

So dim now, my life has become.
Hopefully you'll shed some light for me so I don't feel stung,
I wish you knew how I felt, but I don't want to cause you any pain.
I'll get back into shape over time, because I have faith in us.

Maybe I wasn't made for love,
But I can feel you inside of me, and I know, that this has to be true love,
For all the pain you cause me, it just floats away through your charm,
I can't live without you by my side,
So let's be together, and let our souls be one,
I am washed clean by your tide,
Hope tells me that tomorrow,

I'll see the sun rise.

I'm not going to write about your eyes,
Cause I've said all there is to be said.
I'm not going to write about your lips,
Cause there's nothing else left in my head.
I'm not going to write about your hair,
Or the way you make me melt.
I won't be discussing the power of your heart,
Or anything else that I've felt.
I'm not going to talk about your laugh,
Or the way you make me smile.
I won't even talk about your intelligence,
Or that I've been in love with you for a while.

Most days I wake up and you make me smile,
Without even being there.
If you could feel what you do to my heart,
You'd know all the words I won't share.

The moment I knew I love you
I knew you were heaven sent
I dreamed of you my angel
Before we ever met

Soon after the start
true love with you
I’d found in my heart
you're sweet and kind
and my love for you
will last a lifetime

I dream of your smile
and it takes my breath away
I want you
I need you
more than I could ever say

All my prayers were answered
when into my life you came to me
now I love you so much
and now your my everything

When I look at the moon
the stars
the sunrise
and see all of its grace
your still more beautiful to me
and you always put a smile on my face

Together we are
you are always here with me
I'd travel no matter how far
your the one I love
and the only one for me

So I guess this is where I left my life...
I walk to the old spot where we used to go,
and sit alone in the corner...
watching my breath disappear in front of me.

I still remember that night in January
We were both so cold but we didn't care...
All we wanted was an hour to ourselves
to get away from the rest of the world
with their stares and taunts.
Now I return to this place
for an hour without you
Our laughs still echo off the walls as I sit here.
Head in hands I begin to cry,
and I hear us whisper to each other in the dark...

"I love you."

"I love you too."


I scream out to God
but I get no reply.
I guess even He is too busy to talk to me tonight.

This was our secret place,
a place full of memories,
of secrets that will stay locked inside my heart forever,
a place haunted by a love that never had the chance to grow...

But now it is back to what it always was.
An old abandoned building,
cold concrete floors.
I get up and begin searching for our love among the dead leaves that are blowing across the ground,
but I just end up curled up in the corner like before.

It's colder than I remember here,
but then I remind myself that all of those other nights you were here to keep me warm.
I can almost hear you making your way up the stairs,
I can almost see your smile when you find me here waiting for you,
I can almost feel your arms around me again.
I can almost hear you whisper into my ear,

"I'll keep you warm..."

I stand up

I know I cannot hold onto this place forever,
but I can never seem to stop myself from coming back,
hoping to find you at the top of the landing...hoping to find the love that I lost...
I begin walking back home, not even bothering to wipe the tears from my eyes.


And God still hasn't answered.

How do I know I love you?
a simple question
with more answers than we have kisses
and more reasons
than you have time to hear

your smile makes me wish for immortality
if only to see it over and over for always
and to be in your presence
is be myself
comfortably
with no pretense
or need for impressions

minutes spent without you
tick by slower than years
but the sweet promise of us
brings a secret smile
and a calm assurance
that leaves a delicious taste in my mouth

the way you look at me
makes everything in the world
stop and wait for us
and the way our eyes love to touch gazes
makes my heart hug itself with contented delight

I am stronger because of you
and yet weaker all at once
but I would not trade this sweet vulnerability
the sacred opening of everything I am -
I willingly offer it,
because I feel your desire to see it,
to cherish it as you cherish my kisses

I have begun to think of you
as an extension of me
another part that I have always searched for
and somehow never found
two pieces of symmetry
finally joined to make something
not just beautiful,
but destined.
And so when you ask

your voice hushed by the lateness of the hour
curiosity touched with wonder
how it is that I know?
It is easy to answer you now, love.

It is because my soul is smiling.

She fell in love with a boy quite young.
Her heart he held tight.
His quiet words could comfort her fears,
help her forget her years of tears.

She loved him with a passion,
so deep not even the ocean could compare.
And his love for her was equal,
Square.

Though one night this "life" became too much,
with images of death,
he did not think,
was in a rush.

He must have been blinded by his sadness..
For that was the only way he could miss...
miss the fact that her love was still there,
Burning bright like a fire.
But soon his decision was down to the wire.

In sadness she heard the next day,
that with us her one love did not stay.
Oh how much she cried,
mourning the loss.

One life gone,
a beautiful love lost.
She sits now sad,
Alone.
Her love gone to a better place,
somewhere...
Unknown.

He took his life
and others tried to take theirs,
but alone she sits,
and stares.

Though what she sees
is what she will miss,
Everything they never got to have...

Their First Kiss

Forever, have I lost you?
You’re fading from my sight.
Can you not see we’re falling?
We’re dying in the night.
My heart is yours, Forever,
I’ll never turn away.
I’ll wait for you to find me.
I’ll try to make you stay.

You promised me, Forever,
To make our hearts as one.
Did you forget, Forever,
To tell me we were done?
Forever, will you hold me,
And sooth my heart to sleep?
Tell me again, Forever,
That I’m the one you’ll keep.

My heart will beat, Forever,
Until you bid it rest.
I’ll live for you, Forever.
I’ll try to pass this test.
Forever, I feel empty,
My heart has told a lie.
Forever, can you promise
That you won’t start to cry?

This wound will bleed, Forever,
But pain is worth the prize.
I’ll sing for you, Forever,
An angel for your eyes.
I’m leaving you, Forever,
But, Forever, I will wait.
I promise that I’ll meet you
At heaven’s golden gate.

Forever, I will hold you,
I’ll never let you go.
Forever, I will love you,
Though you may never know.
I want to stay, Forever,
But God has called me home.
My soul will stay, Forever,
And follow where you roam.

My death may hurt, Forever,
But know it’s not your fault.
I know you tried to save me.
Life just wouldn’t halt.
I know this loss will hurt you,
But please promise me this:
I want you to remember
The times when we would kiss.

I want you to remember
The girl the pictures show,
And please try to remember
The woman that you know.
Remember this, Forever,
I’m watching from above.
Remember me, Forever.
Remember I’m your love.

I Love You

Just three little words
don't seem like enough
for someone who's smile
still brightens my day,
who's touch can make me forget
the rest of the world.

They don't seem like enough
for someone who's always been there
to celebrate with me
when everything goes my way
and to hold my hand
when my whole world
seems to fall apart.

But even though "I Love You"
can't express the depth
of my feelings for you.
I hope you know what's in my heart.
Because loving you
means more to me
than anything in the world
and it always will.

My love for you...............

you may not see in me,
what I see in you

you may not feel ,
what I feel
but my immortal love for you,
these mortal boundaries of world can’t conceal

however hard my love,
I try to take you out of my mind,
but yet again I find;
reflection of my eternal love in your eyes,
then my soul flies,
and my heart cries ,
for your love.

Seeds of love in my heart you sow,
cant be expressed in words I know.
my love is like a flower in the wild;
and a tide,
in a ocean so wide;
I hope through them you would sail;
in the calm and in the gale,
making my love a timeless tale.

You were in my mind when I woke up this morning
And I've been thinking about you all day long..
Remembering your smile, your voice, the sound of your laughter..
Remembering the little things we've shared
and how long it will be before we're together again with a time to share even more..
I can't think of anything or anyone
but YOU today..

I guess I’m missing YOU, more than I usually do . . .

When I'm fast asleep,
My body feels you there.
The sound of your heartbeat,
Paints thrills in the air.
My smile floods the night,
As I dream of a lifetime with you.
We are tried and true.

When I'm all alone,
My soul aches for your touch.
The wind cries your name,
And I miss you so much.
I gaze through the sky,
As I ponder the times we've been through.
We are tried and true.

Day after day,
My heart keeps one name.
And only one angel,
Can ease all my pain.
Night after night,
I see only one light, and its you.
Yes, it's true.

When I'm wide awake,
I breathe through your heart.
And I long for the day,
That our lifetime will start.
I scream for your kiss,
Nobody exists but you.
We are tried and true.

I had a vision of you, my love.
Flying over the stars and skies
Grief and pain I am empty of,
Confused, bemused, and lost in your eyes.

We slip in our road; you hold me close.
Whispering sweet nothings to me
Oh so, bold, then something unfolds
In your eyes you tell me, “I love you”.

After all, our hearts do beat as one
Seize me, carry me as I drown
Seeing your frame against the sun
I ache to run my hands through your hair

We will live on we will never leave.
We fly amongst the moon, clouds; stars,
Then our lives being to weave
Together as in a dream (as we fly).

Twirling in a shadow of light
I ask you, “is this all a dream?”
Then you remind me, politely,
With a tantalizing kiss, I knew.

I knew from your lips you were mine
In your eyes, your gorgeous, sweet eyes
I noticed the spark of Heaven
In your eyes, I never saw goodbyes

In our embrace, the whole world goes still.
Our love will strive and never die
Tonight, I feel a thrill inside
In your eyes; there is no one else alive.

I swear to God
that I love mine as much as
you love yours and that
if I could find the words to say it,
I would. If I could
find the perfect words, if I could just
close my eyes and instead of thinking
I love her I love her I love her

think of something poetic and real and un-cliché,
just for a second,
I would. but
I am-she is-we are poetic,
real,
un-cliché

and I know it with all of me and I know she knows it
too and I know that I don't need to
write poems about her because she already knows,
she already knows
(because she loves me too)

but even so
I wish I wish I wish I could
come up with the words that make
me-her-us sound-look-feel justifiable,
right (oh-so-right),
and/or as incredible as this really is.

I am-she is-we are a phenomenon, I swear it,
and I know damn well that I don't need to say anything
but damn it, I want her to know!

And when I read her my poems
I can hear her smiling, because
you see, those words?
Those vowels, those consonants, are
me
her
us.

You'll never know how much I love you,
I can't tell you,
I won't tell you.

I'm afraid of being hurt once more.
If I told you, all that you would say is "It wouldn't work...",
This is more than likely true.

I may not know that lot about you,
But I feel like I can trust you with my heart.
Give my heart to you is what I've always wanted to do ever since I got to know you.

You’re leaving and I'm staying.
You’re right it wouldn't work...
This is too much for me to handle.

If I fell once more...Would you be there to help me up?
I doubt it since you'd be gone.
Though I do wish that if I did, that you would be there to help me up!

I've loved you longer than I know.
I can't show it.
Showing you how I feel would be like putting myself in a pool of sharks with an open wound on my skin.

My heart is my greatest weakness and you already know that.
You won't take my heart...
Not even if I offered it to you.
I hate myself for loving you,
But I'm glad that I do.

Your lips speak a soft sweetness

Your touch a cool caress

I am lost in your magic

My heart beats within your chest

I think of you each morning

And dream of you each night

I think of your arms being around me

And cannot express my delight

Never have I fallen, in love

But I am quickly on my way

You hold a heart in your hands

That has never before been given away.

On the still of the night

I close my tired eyes,

Want to leave everything behind,

Yes, leave it all behind.

Her love, soul, mind,

The gentle touch of her lonely hearth

Leave it all in the past,

Erase them in a blink of an eye...

But this I cannot do,

Because I still love only YOU…..

And although you are gone

And I'm left here all alone,

I'll try to hold on,

But cannot tell for how long.....

Today, all is lost,

My brain, thoughts and soul….

Here I lay in my bed

Waiting for her

To take me away,

To catch up to the love

That got taken away.

Once I close my eyes

The present will meet the past

And together again at last,

Just like in mortal life

We will never be apart.

Today I died......

Deep Blue Sea

I gaze across the deep blue sea.
In each wave I see something
Something that reminds me of you.
A fleeting glance before the wave passes
I cannot tell what holds me entranced.

Minutes pass, yet I cannot move
I know time passes yet I do not care
I see something in the waves
Something that reminds me of you
But I cannot tell what it is

Time passes, but nothing changes
I am still there - still unable to move.
I feel as if I must understand what it is
That holds me so entranced
But I just stare into the waves.

Wait - Whats that - Something There.
Something draws my attention
You are calling my name
But I cannot come to you
I am held here entranced.

Now I see it - two pearls black in colour
Floating in a sea of blue.
They are what holds me entranced
I am lost in the depths
Familiar they are, but what.

You call my name again
This time I move, I am falling.
The pearls are getting smaller
Am I falling or are they?
I begin to see something else in the waves

A colour, something that does not belong.
A whisp of a colour - out of place in the sea
Yet so tantilising - so familar
The waves are fading, I wake up
I realise what held me so entranced.

I am gazing into your eyes Brilliant blue,
I was lost in there depths I reach out,
brush the lose wisp of hair from your face.
The sunlight catches in your eyes
Like a sparkle on a wave.

Shine for you

Your waiting on a Misty Morning
Waiting for the sun to re-appear
You cant see nothing, you dont see no-one
Yet everything to you seems clear
So wait for me, wait for.. I am your sun
I'll be coming around to shine on you
This morning has begun
So let me into your life and light me up like I do you.

Your eyes are like dew on grass
You need to reap this day in someway
You see me rise, you see me shine
I blow away all your fear
So wait for me, wait for.. I am your sun
I'll be coming around to shine on you
To let you know this morning has begun
Light me up like I do you.

And if you need to see smiling
Then wait by the shore like today
You will see me rise, you will reap my smile
And I know that in someway
That I shine on you, like you shine on me too
It's a love so pure, like this, its something you endure

Don't let the darkness take hold
Don't let the Mountains block me out
Don't let your mind reach past me
Don't tell these stories of old
Because.. I'm in you, like your inside me too
Tell me you want me to rise
And I will shine just for you.

For you - Part II

When I first talked to you,
I didn't know what to say,
But the more we talked,
The more my heart gave way

But now when I think of you,
And how you changed my life,
I can't imagine,
A day without your light

You light up my day,
As if you were the sun,
You are that sense of completion,
When a difficult work is done

You are my strength, and wisdom,
And the keeper of my heart
Whose grip never weakens,
Even when we're apart,

I think of you all day,
And dream of you all night,
And every night I wish
That you could hold me tight

You are always on my mind,
No matter what time or day,
Even when I shouldn't
I think about you anyway

And when I think of you this much
The day seems so long
And all the time we spend apart,
Just seems so wrong

You are my special gift
Sent from up above
Sent to me from heaven
Sent for me to love

Thank you for your smile
And your light that fills my dreams
You always make it brighter
No matter how dark it seems....

For you

I'd give anything to see a beautiful
sun set on the horizon.

I'd do anything to gaze at a full moon
and see the stars shining
Like diamonds in the night's sky,

To walk in an enchanting rainforest
And see the most breathtaking waterfalls.

If I could, I'd love to swim in the crystal
clear waters of an untouched sea
And come upon an undiscovered island.

I'd love to soar above the clouds of the bluest skies
And look at all God's amazing creations down below,

Like the perfect red rose blooming in the
First day of Spring,

Like a river flowing through a dusty land,
Or even capturing that one perfect picture,

But beyond all my wishes, dreams, and imaginations,

I would give anything to spend EACH DAY with you...
MY LOVE

If I.....

If I don't smile and I start to cry,
you can bet that there's a reason why.

If I look to the stars above,
I'm searching for an ounce of love.

If I close my eyes and start to smile,
you can bet, I'm thinking how you're worthwhile.

If I stop breathing, and close my eyes,
then I saw your reflection in the sky.

If I pray everyday and every night,
it's about you soon being in my sight.

If I lick my lips and my eyes grow soft,
thoughts of you are not far off.

If I lay down my head and fall asleep,
dreams of you flow very deep.

If I'm very sad and extremely blue,
I smile and think of how I love you....

Love....

Love is like a rose with gentle, tender parts,
Slowly it unfolds and develops in your heart.
Its beauty can’t be tamed it’s as wild as the wind
Words can never explain the feelings held within.
You could be cut by a thorn and your heart would tend to bleed,
Sometimes it will be torn, but inside is always a new seed.
There will always be a change, and yet it grows and grows,
And although it may seem strange.
Love is like a rose.

Pursuit

I sought after the ocean waves, their beauty glistened in the moonlight,
I raced the ever changing tide, beneath the eyes of twilight.
I kissed the vermillion rose petals, like rubies in the sand,
But nothing that I chased, compared to the touch of your hand.
I ran to catch the fading rain, as it fell into the sea,
I pushed my toes beneath the sand, willing it to love me.
I glimpsed a shooting star, that shattered the sky above,
But nothing that I found, replaced the beauty of your love.
I chased the first light of dawn, as it stretched across the sky,
Crashing into midnight, as the stars began to die.
But morning could not love, or make me feel as free
As the beauty that resides, in the love you give to me.


Beyond tomorrow's horizon,
Beyond the legacy of time,
Beyond life's brilliant sunrise,
Beyond all reason and rhyme,
Beyond the bottomless oceans,
Beyond the enchantment of space,
Beyond yesterday's excuses,
Beyond a promised embrace,
My love burns.
My love lingers.
My love wakes.
My love abides.
My love rises.
My love exists.
My love grows.
My love remains ......

Lonely

When I don't see you,
I feel so lonely,
I find many faces,
But I miss you only,

The moment you are before me,
Nothing else I want to see,
I want to be yours for always,
Nothing else I want to be,

I want to be left behind by time,
For a moment that last forever,
In that moment I’ll make you mine,
And our love will end never,

I’ll to look in your eyes,
And get inside your dreams,
Share your every thought,
And explore your realms,
I’ll enter your heart,
And get dissolve in your blood,
Then search your every part,
With the flow of blood stream,

I’ll run all over your body

Seven Words

When I'm with you,
eternity is a step away,
my love continues to grow,
with each passing day.

This treasure of love,
I cherish within my soul,
how much I love you,
you'll never really know.

You bring a joy to my heart,
I've never felt before,
with each touch of your heart,
I love you more and more.

Whenever we say goodbye,
whenever we part,
know I hold you dearly,
deep inside my heart.

So these seven words,
I pray you hold true,
"Forever and Always,
I Will Love You."

Unforgettable

Your movie in my mind,
My pictures of your face,
Somehow tricked into believing,
That we are apart of the same place,
When the truth is clear to see,
You will see me standing fair,
Like the oceans golden ripple at sunrise,
I'm your moon that's never there.

Golden roses I pick from your garden,
Through heavy thought's of summer's heat,
The last thing I really remember,
Was losing your loved heart beat,
I know you can still feel me,
When the tears come to me at night,
I feel you whispering through me,
Telling me not to give up this fight.

So, to you, I call your name,
And wish you were with me at day,
Thinking of Golden roses,
That I pick to help you stay,
I roll accross my pillow,
The wet patch catches me cold,
I try to go back to sleep,
And watch these movies I forever hold.

Reflections

PROLOGUE

My mind wishes to see the future, and my heart agrees.........
There is the crystal sea - with the sound of waves reaching the ears like the sound of sweet music, a continuous rush of sound - the sound of the birds in the background - the sky is grey - wanting to rain but not yet - there is a slight drizzle though - as if some magic had made the sky and the drizzle stay like that forever, there is a cool breeze causing the trees to rustle in sheer happiness, there is the mountain - in all its lavish greenery - the pride of being the king of the sea - and then.... there were we - on the dew filled meadows of the mountain under the cool shade of a tree - as if the world is just for the two of us - forgetting and caring less for others it seems - for we were in the company of each other and we did not want anyone. Time seemed to stopped for us - for there we lay - it seems for eternity - blinded by the magic of love........

It seems I am resting on your lap - I look at your beautiful face - thanking within myself - God - for having sent you to me, every moment seems to last for an infinite eternity.....I look into your eyes and I see the innocence - the very feeling - making my heart fill with pleasure, and it seems I can only think of saying......I love you, you stay silent - for I know the reason - you always know……………..I kiss you, I feel the warmth of your tender lips on mine – it seemed like we kissed forever…. You were the princess of the kingdom of my heart, and it seemed I was a slave chained to the spell of your love……

I look at the sky - it seems it has become night - I can see the moon wading in the grey clouds – I ask you - why am I so lucky, why am I so happy? You only say - it’s because you love me.....
I fall asleep - after kissing you good night - only to dream about you......
Time goes back......I can see images flashing by - reminisces of the past……….

CHAPTER 1

REALIZATION OF THE TRUTH……..

“Love is like a rose with gentle, tender parts,
Slowly it unfolds and develops in your heart.
Its beauty can’t be tamed it’s as wild as the wind
Words can never explain the feelings held within.
You could be cut by a thorn and your heart would tend to bleed,
Sometimes it will be torn, but inside is always a new seed.
There will always be a change, and yet it grows and grows,
And although it may seem strange,
Love is like a rose.”

Never had I imagined, that I would in fact be influenced by something personal, a feeling….called love.
The moment of truth, the moment of sadness, of despair, the very thought pricking my heart – you did not care about me……..
How will it be if the whole world around you is silent but you can still hear your heart cry – in anguish, in pain? You will never know….Tears in the eyes, a heavy heart, sleepless nights, and dreams of nightmares…..the realization of the truth…..
The realization of the truth………I realized the true meaning of love in those desperate moments. A heart that was crying realized it would only become more stubborn, it was then my heart decided that one day, the girl of my dreams would be mine…..I realized that I had been thinking wrong about love all those days, I realized love was knowing that you were not lonely……

I'm Gone

I boarded the train
Walked to my seat
Looked through the tinted glass
to where you were standing.
I tapped on the window
Loud as i could
Hoping in vain
You might hear.
I wondered what you were thinking,
Where your bumbling eyes and head were searching.
I wondered what you were saying to my friends
Whether you missed me already
Whether you wanted me to stay for a little longer

And I thought to myself,
I miss you already too.
I wish I could stay longer
To have more time to say what you mean to me,
to tell you I want the best to come to you.
But now is my time to go
And my destination is all prepared just for me.

I departed into eternal life,
Entered the kingdom of my Creator,
Looked through Heaven's spyglass
Down to where you live.
I burst into bittersweet happiness
Wished all i had now was yours
Wished this love could surround-you
And bless, satisfy, carry-you
Every day through life's unceasing struggles.
I wondered what you were thinking
Sympathized with you
While tears flowed down your cheek
As you overlooked the boxed-up body
I once abode in.
I listened to your every word,
Felt the emotional release you found
In having my family and friends around you.
I knew you missed me already
-wish I could have stayed longer.

And I thought to myself,
I miss you too!
But can't admit any wish to stay longer,
Except to have more time to say
What you mean to me,
To say I want the best to come to you.
But it was my time to go
And the place I'm in I found all prepared just for me.

What i am to you - i do not know,
but what you are to me -
my entire life will not be enough to tell you about it......

you are my love,
you are my life,
my love, my life - i am just asking you to spend one moment with me - be it even a fleeting second...

because i miss your dear,
you seem to far - in distance,
but you never seem so far from my heart.....

i want you to know that i'm still waiting,
waiting for that day - when we'll see each other after a very long time,
not knowing what to do..........

a hug,
a kiss,
a tear and
"i love you sweet heart"

That one moment....

a struggle - that finally seemed nothing for that one second,
a life - that finally seemed beautiful for that one moment,
a feeling - that seemed so special for that moment,
a thought - that seemed to last forever,
a dream - that finally came true,
a nightmare - that finally came to an end,

that one moment - when you told me........
'I love you'

I feel myself falling, so hard and fast
Calling out, no one hearing my frightened screams
My hands reaching out desparately, grabbing only the air
Clinging to life, darkness enveloping me, tearing me away.
A hand...reaches to pull me up, warm and strong
"Dont let go" I plead and beg.....seeing the light and hope.
It shines like a brilliant cloud around you, lifting me up.
Your eyes meeting mine..nothing needs to be said,
As you pull me safely to you and I collapse in your arms.
Weary but eternally grateful to you always.....................


To the one who has saved me in more ways than one.
I will love you "always"......

I have begged and pleaded
For the pressure to cease...
To let me be happy, in love and at peace..
Devouring whats left of my sanity,
Until nothings left, resembling me.

No one knowing my turmoil and strife..
The conflict and pain of my everday life.
How many times can the word "NO" be said?
My heart filled with pain, hestitancy and dread.

You use words like a weapon
To wound , soothe or maim
Cutting deeply or softly..
Its all one in the same.

You asked for forgiveness,
I gave more than my share...
Trying so hard to show you
That others really do care.

But its like an art to you
Deftly weaving whats true
Like an intricate web
Only giving a clue

You cry pain and injustice
For others to see...
Sitting back and then watching
What will happen to me.

I will be silent no more
But at what cost to me?
No more manipulation,
I am free of your tyranny

You see...Love isnt a weapon
To be wielded by you
Its mine to take back..
So my heart can be true!

After a while you learn the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and
company doesn't mean security,

And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats with your head
up and your eyes open, with the grace of an woman,
not the grief of a child,

And you learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure . . .
that you really are strong,
and you really do have worth.
And you learn and you learn . . .
with every good-bye you learn. . . .

The song trailed off in the distance and the words became a blur
The pain washed over fresh and new, old wounds reopened,
Raw and gnawing, a piece of hot metal thrust back into your heart.

The song, haunting in its memory, for a moment bittersweet,
Turns your heart to tormented anguish
Hot tears stream down my face, suffocating me,
As I try to pull you from the desolate, deep abyss.

All too familiar is the pain, the wanting, passion, desire...
Love now an empty shell, hollow is its ring
Unfulfilled desires, parched, not able to quench or extinguish...
Lips wracked with grief, with unanswered questions of "Why?"

I am helpless against the shadowy memories and words
Every wave of fresh pain, crashes down with an unspoken reality.
My chest...heavy with grief...prays you find some kind of peace
A peace you deseve...A love filled with kisses instead of tears.

Memories are all that remains,
Of a perfect love gone wrong,
Memories of your warm smile,
Of your soft loving caresses,
And your sweet tender kisses,

Memories so bitter yet so sweet,
Where my lips curl into a smile,
Yet the joy never to reach my eyes,
As unbidden tears streak down,

Memories of a classic love story,
That ended on a rain soaked day,
As if the sky saw and empathized,
And weeped along with my heart,

Moments we had spent together,
Will live and last forever,
As unforgettable memories,
To be played over and over,

Memories are all that I have left,
Of a love that once burned bright,
Now masked, dimmed and dying,
But it is in this eternal moment,
That I love you the most,

But it is too late to turn back now,
For we have taken a one way road,
To memories and might have beens,
And used up all our given chances,

So now, while I hurt and ache,
I will also pray, hope and wait,
For a gentle and loving heart,
To heal and revive this love broken soul,
And give a new home to this orphaned heart...…

So close yet so far,
I look around wondering where you are,
I miss you yet,
We have actually never met.
Our minds bonded so tight,
Together we are only making it right,
I feel like I've known you forever,
We won't part, no never.
Longing to be in your arms,
I relax into your charms,
You chase away the nightmares,
You calm all my cares.

Roses for Rose


Red roses were her favorites, her name was also Rose.
And every year her husband sent them, tied with pretty bows.
The year he died, the roses were delivered to her door.
The card said, "Be my Valentine," like all the years before.

Each year he sent her roses, and the note would always say,
"I love you even more this year, than last year on this day."
"My love for you will always grow, with every passing year."
She knew this was the last time that the roses would appear.

She thought, he ordered roses in advance before this day.
Her loving husband did not know, that he would pass away.
He always liked to do things early, way before the time.
Then, if he got too busy, everything would work out fine.

She trimmed the stems, and placed them in a very special vase.
Then, sat the vase beside the portrait of his smiling face.
She would sit for hours, in her husband's favorite chair.
While staring at his picture, and the roses sitting there.

A year went by, and it was hard to live without her mate.
With loneliness and solitude, that had become her fate.
Then, the very hour, as on Valentines before,
The doorbell rang, and there were roses, sitting by her door.

She brought the roses in, and then just looked at them in shock.
Then, went to get the telephone, to call the florist shop.
The owner answered, and she asked him, if he would explain,
Why would someone do this to her, causing her such pain?

"I know your husband passed away, more than a year ago,"
The owner said, "I knew you'd call, and you would want to know."
"The flowers you received today, were paid for in advance."
"Your husband always planned ahead, he left nothing to chance."

"There is a standing order, that I have on file down here,
And he has paid, well in advance, you'll get them every year.
There also is another thing, that I think you should know,
He wrote a special little card...he did this years ago."

"Then, should ever, I find out that he's no longer here,
That's the card...that should be sent, to you the following year."
She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard.
Her fingers shaking, as she slowly reached to get the card.

Inside the card, she saw that he had written her a note.
Then, as she stared in total silence, this is what he wrote...
"Hello my love, I know it's been a year since I've been gone,
I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to overcome."

"I know it must be lonely, and the pain is very real.
For if it was the other way, I know how I would feel.
The love we shared made everything so beautiful in life.
I loved you more than words can say, you were the perfect wife."

"You were my friend and lover, you fulfilled my every need.
I know it's only been a year, but please try not to grieve.
I want you to be happy, even when you shed your tears.
That is why the roses will be sent to you for years."

"When you get these roses, think of all the happiness,
That we had together, and how both of us were blessed.
I have always loved you and I know I always will.
But, my love, you must go on, you have some living still."

"Please...try to find happiness, while living out your days.
I know it is not easy, but I hope you find some ways.
The roses will come every year, and they will only stop,
When your door's not answered, when the florist stops to knock."

"He will come five times that day, in case you have gone out.
But after his last visit, he will know without a doubt,
To take the roses to the place, where I've instructed him,
And place the roses where we are, together once again."

I still wear that ring
The one that reminds me of you
I see it everyday
It never leaves my hand
Just as you never leave my thoughts

I still have those words
Ringing in my head
The ones that you asked me
The ones where you promised to be with me
The ones I took for granted
They are always ringing through my mind

I still have your pictures
I see them everyday
They sit with your eyes staring at me
I can see all the joy
The joy that has cause you nothing but pain

I still have those feelings
The ones there for only you
They are the only thing that reminds me
Of everything I want out of life
I am sorry I caused you the pain
I am sorry I made you cry
Just know that those feelings
Are with me for the rest of my life

I still have that ring
The one that reminds me of you.

Do you hide your face when others want to see...
Do you lower your eyes to the beauty all around...
Do you let your hair down only to cover your smile...
Do you put up your defenses so not to be hurt?

Would you show your face if if I asked to see...
Would you raise your eyes if it were me looking into them...
Would you let your hair down and show me that smile...
Would you let me inside your wall of doubt?

I will hold your cheek and love who you are...
I will open my eyes and see who you are...
I will comb your hair and feel who you are...
I will be in love knowing who you are!

Will you?